Allie and her Macbook: Archive

1 tag

The Right Things

I think I’m absolutely over-do for a post. This will probably be incoherent, since that’s how I roll and I also have a million things to talk about, and if you’ve read this before, you probably know that I am unorganized, long winded, and usually make very little sense. So here goes. My life has been contradiction, oxy moron and just moron all summer. I’m totally aware...

Jul 11th

1 tag

“In my heart, I knew that nothing was really okay. I hadn’t felt like everything...”

– I just wrote this. :) I’m very excited because I’ve come back to writing Dead Moon Setting, which I will eventually combine with the first novel, Dead Moon Rising as Part II. I am seriously way excited, I’ve had a lot of relevations about my characters lately. :)

Apr 28th

I don’t feel close to anyone anymore. The people I want to be close with are all in Littleton or elsewhere in the country. Fort Collins is an undeniably cool town, and I do really like all the people I’ve met and spent time with here. But it’s not the same as it used to be, and I don’t have anyone that wants to hang out frequently enough to keep myself entertained. I wish...

Apr 23rd

Words

Fuck poetry. I don’t know what happened, other than my creative writing class, that made me feel like writing a poem would give me hay fever. Perhaps it was the straight up realization that I’m not very good at it, nor do I understand it well. I used to think that not understanding it meant something… like my inability to understand made me a real poet. What a fool I was. So...

Apr 14th

Rats!

I feel like a failure. I got a baby rat who is probably, what? four weeks old. She is the same size as a mouse, and is a dumbo rat. I was told that Rose was a Dumbo rat, which is a fucking lue. Rose has big ears but Rain (the baby) has bigger ears. They are also to the side. Her ears are huge. very elephantine, much like Dumbo himself. Actually she looks a lot like this: Same size, same...

Apr 10th

Dream Land

I had this terrible dream that Alex was cheating on me. I was supposed to turn in a poem for Creative Writing on Tuesday but I never went to class that day, nor did I write the poem. Today I couldn’t get the dream out of my head. So I wrote this. Alex’s House Is the place that sets my dreams Sets my dreams repeating an image of a beautiful Latina girl Who nervously zipped up her pants when...

Apr 3rd

In less than 40 minutes

Jonathan Safran Foer will be sitting 12 feet away from me.

Mar 28th

Write Here, Write Now.

I think about Mallory every day, and I can’t express the pain I feel when I simply miss her with every blood cell in my body. Today, it dawned on me, though. Mallory was such an advocate for a lot of things in my life, some good, some bad. I smoked weed for the first time with Mallory. She asked me to come along with her friends one night and said, “If Allie refuses to smoke, everyone...

Mar 27th

Why I Hate Verison Wireless

I would never join “The Nations’ Largest 3G Network” because I find their commercials completely offensive. Here we are, in the biggest economic struggle since the Great Depression. The first commercial that they do that I hate is one where they show a Blackberry Storm in the hands of someone. The narrator says, “You could really go for some music right now. Too bad all...

Mar 26th

Come to the blacklight blowout!!!

I’m making a cake.

Mar 15th

I think about mallory a lot. If you didn’t know her, you missed meeting a great girl. Her impressions of South Park characters and her ambition to get a kitten and get married in an off-white dress really contributed to her amazing spirit. Mallory died a week ago today from leukemia. No, I don’t understand. But I know Mallory would tell me tough luck, love your life.

Mar 5th

Allie and her Macbook: open on my firefox window

… (for you Kerry) Me, posting on tumblr…from the application on my Dashboard*. *MacBook Dashboard**, not tumblr dashboard. **Dashboard, the one that includes a bunch of widgets on the Macintosh desktop and accessed by a quick icon on the “Dock”. Mine has weather, time, calculator, dictionary, post-It note, and now, tumblr widget which I found under the...

Mar 4th

A Yummy Recipe, brought to you by testicles.

Jordy’s Balls 1/2 cup honey 1/2 cup peanut butter 1 cup dry milk 1 cup non-instant oats (whole oats, preferably) (cocoa or carob powder optional for chocolate ones) mix together, roll into balls

Mar 3rd

Mallory,

Now I remember all that you are. I can’t believe that I’ve let myself get this far away from you, that I let myself think that I better call you and then never actually do so. We made plans to hang out one week, and I didn’t hear from you. I think I had a feeling during all this time that something wasn’t quite going right. But I didn’t let it reach my conscious...

Feb 28th

1 tag

Feb 24th

I still (will always) love you.

Maybe I’ll never get a grip.

Feb 24th

Feb 23rd

Sometimes...

Sometimes Rose comes and sits right underneath my chin. Sometimes I want what I can’t have. Sometimes I want what I CAN have, but I never do anything about it. Sometimes I drop hints. I hope you know who you are. Sometimes I behave in a manor that suggests I am confident. Also, sometimes, I miss you terribly…

Feb 13th

Watch

This is my new rat, Rose, who I am absolutely in love with.

Feb 11th

Saturday

I’m sitting in the dining room right now, and I think I need a hobby. And then I think, what am I talking about, I have a million hobbies. Suddenly I realize that what I really need is an anti-lazy or a Staples Easy Button. And then I feel guilty for being an American consumer whore. Saturdays are sometimes boring and I think that is why I drive to Littleton on some of them but...

Feb 7th

Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha....

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, ohhh poetry. It is hilarious. But not really… It is quite my favorite thing much as laughter is so here is a poem I wrote recently: America You’re no laughing matter your streets paved with unemployed ex-CEOs and still Indians far from India sadly, slowly driven away by a past they should not forgive and where were you when...

Feb 6th

Generally Negative

I’m feeling really angry. If Chris is reading this, he’ll say that I am always angry. But I am not always angry, I am just emphatic. I tend to express myself in a way in which I am loud, and I come across as angry, despite being in a really good mood. When I am actually angry, however, it shows (I think) and people are very, very afraid of me. Over the last few hours, I’ve been...

Jan 30th

Once I clean my room, I’ll give you a video tour of my house. Because you know you want ot see it :)

Jan 29th

Watch

Again, just kind of testing the waters.

Jan 19th

I'm an English Major

and I LOVE IT. Please stop pretending like I’m not going to have a fulfilling life. Please stop pretending that money buys happiness, and that teachers can’t love what they do. I can sit here and cite everything that makes my major more fulfilling than your math bullshit if you so wish, but I honestly have better stuff to be doing. If you challenge it, you’ll get the whole...

Jan 16th

Sorry for that last post. There was very little explanation behind it. It really involved going to a friend’s house. The friend in question said he was getting sick and then someone handed him a bong and he just took it. I thought, that’s not going to help. But what do I know? I just got back from a Caribbean vacation!! There is no sense in blogging about it, honestly, because I do...

Jan 14th

“Getting sick? Rip a bong.”

– Obviously not good advice. Cough, cough (pun intended).

Jan 2nd

Obligatory Holidays Post

Ah, the joys of me not doing anything cool for Christmas, and then reflecting upon everyone else’s Christmasness and being annoyed by it. It’s true, I find Christmas mostly annoying, though it does have its perks. First of all, no school, no work, and lots of delicious food. I get to spend time with friends and family and we are mostly nice to each other. That’s cool. But I...

Dec 25th

I live in a sauna right now.

I am a fucking idiot fuck up. This is a fact. I submitted four poems for publication on Sunday night. What did I do? I sent the Literary Journal I was sending it to the UNEDITED documents with the initial but CRAPPY poetry in them. God. Today I turned in my 10 page essay and 10 page journal for 20th Century Fiction. I ate at Cheba Hut, did a little studying and then decided to get my poetry...

Dec 18th

1 tag

FREE COFFEE

…if you help me move. I need help: WEDNESDAY: 11 AM-4 PM THURSDAY: 9 AM-3 PM FRIDAY: 11 AM- 2 PM If you can help me ANY time during any (or all!?!) of those times, I will compensate you for gas (if you don’t live in Fort Collins) AND buy you coffee. Plus you can hang out with me at my new house with my cool roommates. And we can shoot the shit. Comment if you are interested!

Dec 17th

1 tag

One Hundred Thousand Voices--Edit

Okay, so I am submitting this poem for publication tonight. This is the final version and any last mintue critique is encouraged: One Hundred Thousand Voices On the eve of the Presidential Election, 2008. Chicago, a museum of modern art. I view it, my gaze smooth like the bellies of toads that hop skip jump across ocean, and highway then grow to the size of Sears Tower. It looks like I did...

Dec 15th

A Lot of Everything

I am getting a new camera for Christmas! A new, awesome digital camera! So you get to see pictures of my life pretty soon, and that’s an exciting thought, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?! Of course it is. (Don’t tell me if it’s not, you’ll break my heart). The whole picking-my-scabs habit is so far not going away. There have been plenty of times I have started picking and...

Dec 15th

1 tag

"As the skin rips off, I cherish the revolting...

I promised myself a few days ago that I was going to stop picking at the scabs that I have now had for over 3 years. I am probably going to get gangrene and I’d like to avoid that, if at all possible. Anyway I cut all of my nails off so that I wouldn’t have anything to pick with. Unfortunately that doesn’t work too well. I need some serious motivation, or some better methods. I...

Dec 12th

Foundations by Kate Nash. I just thought I’d...

Dec 12th

1 tag

QUICK! Tell me if this is crap or not.

Here is a poem that I just revised and I have NO IDEA which version I like better. I won’t make you read both but I would totally love it if you told me (very honestly) what you think of it. I AM TRYING TO GET PUBLISHED PEOPLE! And the deadline is 4 days away. HELP ME! One Hundred Thousand Voices Chicago is a museum of modern art. I put it in my mouth like a flavorless marshmallow smooth...

Dec 12th

2 tags

“Dear Fuckface Everyone thinks you’re the Goddess of Compassion but...”

– This is by Alice Notley. I had the pleasure of seeing her read poetry at CSU about a month ago. She is an accomplished poet who takes my breath away. The poem “Dear Fuckface” was given to me by my poetry workship fascilitator, who seems to think that my poetry is similar and that I can...

Dec 12th

Let's Just Skip the Crap

So Amy started it. And then Angela followed suit. These two girls are fucking awesome, and I can say so because I know them personally. Anyway it is my secret desire to be as fucking awesome as them, so here you have it. I do bake, but it is probably safe to say that I do not do as well as Amy. My stuff always tastes good but looks like shit, so go figure. And Angela… oh my god, she is...

Dec 12th